Animal I Have Become
by BlabbyGabby
Summary: My friend, Taylor, first posted this for me before I had an account. Draco can't get away from who he is. And he can't change who he is or what he's done. And no one can save him. DMHG.


Draco pointed his wand directly at the prone form in front of him. Without a second thought, he shouted, "Avada Kedavra!" A green bolt of magic struck the form and it was out of it's misery. _It _actually had a name. It was called Blaise Zabini. Blaise had run to the Order only to find Number 12 taken over by Death Eaters and they took him as prisoner.

Draco and Blaise had grown up together. But if the Dark Lord commanded it, he did it. He was, after all, the prodigy of the great wizard he called Master. Blaise had been tortured thoroughly with the Cruciatus, so much that if they had let him live, he would be crippled severely. Draco considered it a favor to put his old friend out of his misery. A lifeas a cripple was no life at all.

Draco didn't even feel a twinge of guilt when he had said it. Why should he? He was doing it for the better of the world. When Lord Voldemort won, he would rule and when his time came, Draco would step into place. And if Draco had anything to say, Voldemort's time would be coming fairly soon. After they won the war, to be exact.

At first, he had fought to get out of the Death Eaters and Voldemort. But then he was converted. And he thought of himself as having no soul now.

_I can't escape this hell  
So many times I've tried  
But I'm still caged inside  
Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself_

Draco had first convinced himself when he'd felt the cold feeling of nothing when he killed someone that he was under the Imperius. But then he realized he was free to do as he pleased. He wasn't under anyone's spell but his own. He had cloaked his feelings away from even his lord back after seventh year. When he had gone cold.

Oh, sure, he had his choice of all the girls that he could ever want. They were all Death Eater prostitutes. But they were good. And he felt better after them. But there was only one girl that had his heart. And she was the reason he was so cold. But his master thought that he was so heartless because he was becoming the next Dark Lord.

And on the outside he'd convinced himself of that as well. But on the inside...he knew it was different.

_So what if you can see  
The darker side of me?  
No one will ever change  
This animal I have become  
Help me believe  
It's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal  
(this animal, this animal)_

Sometimes he'd go on rampages. He'd wear his black hooded cloak. He'd kill maybe twenty innocents and feel a little better. A little colder. A little further away from everyone. A little more untouchable.

And he'd forget. He'd forget the way she had hurt him. He'd forget the hate he held for her. He'd pour his hate into screaming, 'AVADA KEDAVRA!" at everything that moved in front of him, even his dear wife, Pansy Parkinson.

Psh. Dear. Dear his ass. She was nothing compared to _her. _But they were on opposite sides and that wasn't the only thing that kept her from loving him. As she had put it, almost four years ago, he was an egotistical, bloody, uncaring, rude, pratty git that she could never love. She had ordered him out of their shared common room. They shared a common room as Head Boy and Girl. But she thought that it didn't mean they had to be friends.

And he had tried to believe her on that. He really had. But he couldn't live without her.

So now he didn't live at all. He was empty.

_I can't escape myself  
So many times I've lied  
(so many times I've lied)  
But there's still rage inside  
Somebody get me through this nightmare!  
I can't control myself!_

But he still felt himself, somewhere back in his mind. But that nagging _thing _was always banished to the coldest, furthest corner of his head, not to resurface until after his next rampage. It wasn't really himself. It was _her. _She had infected his mind. He couldn't get away from her.

But nothing helped him. He killed and killed and killed until he was sure he had completely lost his mind.He lied until he was lost and drowning. But he didn't care. He was stillgoing to come out on top. Show her that she was wrong about him. He could be someone. He could be the ruler of the world.

But she was the only one that he wanted. The only one that could save him.

_So what if you can see  
The darker side or me  
No one will ever change  
This animal I have become  
Help me believe  
It's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame  
This animal I have become  
Help me believe  
It's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal_

She saw him. She really did. She saw through the tough facade he put on for everyone at school. She knew it would someday come out to be the way it had. If she had just...if he could have...

Draco wouldn't get caught up in that again. He needed to kill. And he needed to kill as many people as he could tonight. Right _now._

_Somebody help me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself  
Somebody wake me from this nightmare  
I can't escape this hell_

The first kill was easy. He just glared at them, and they cowered. Draco had wandered into the town that Voldemort had decided to keep his headquarters just outside of. The second kill though...he couldn't do it. The teenager, sleeping peacefully in her bed looked just like _her. _

Brunette mass of messy hair splayed out behind her head. And when her eyes fluttered open momentarily to reveal brown eyes that sparkled. The little button nose and slightly rosey cheeks. She just reminded him too much of her. And that gave him the strength to whisper the curse that ended her life. Her breathing stopped. Just like _her's _had. Just like everyone's breathing stopped.

But he wouldn't stop. He still had work to do. He still had to finish his rampage.

_(this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal)_

She had known this would be his fate. He would be the darkness. He embodied evil. He looked great, had a darker personality than you would guess, and his gray eyes always sparkled mischieviously. But not anymore. She was the reason they had stopped.

_So what if you can see  
The darker side of me  
No one will ever change  
This animal I have become  
Help me believe  
It's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame  
This animal I have become  
Help me believe  
It's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame  
This animal  
This animal I have become_

And all because he killed Hermione Granger on graduation day.

_(this animal)_

-l-l-l-

(A/N: About a year ago, my friend Taylor (a.k.a. .freedom.to.mix.it.up.) posted this for me because I didn't have an account. Therefore, do not call it stealing a story. So, in actuality, this was my first FanFic. But **A Summer At Hogwarts **was my first POSTED-by-me FanFic, so this one counts as my second.

Toodle-loo!)


End file.
